How to Trust Birth...
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| Trust birth? I must be kidding, right? Every day on shows like "Baby Story" we are inundated with moms who can't handle the pain or for one reason or another cannot birth vaginally and must be "saved" with a cesarean. Birth must be inherently dangerous, right? I hate to disappoint you, but most women do not need to be saved from birth. Our bodies were designed to give birth. Our pelvises soften at the joints and stretch around the baby's head during labor. True problems with birth only happen in about 5% - 10% of births. If this is true, however, why do so many women need cesareans? Why do they need epidurals? Episiotomies? Pitocin? Induction? The truth is, many of those women don't need those things. We are brought up to believe that birth is dangerous and painful. We are told from the time we are small that labor is a terrible ordeal. We see on TV that women's bodies are broken and need medical assistance to save their babies. It is no wonder we believe this stuff! We are inundated with these views of birth from the time of our own births to the time we give birth to our children. How can any of us trust birth? How many of us were born to mothers who were put under in "Twilight Sleep"? How many of our mothers had epidurals or shots of narcotics during our births? Probably quite a few. But birth doesn't have to be that way for the vast majority of women. Let me share a beautiful birth story. This birth was peaceful. It was instinctual. It was organic. It was Birth with a capital "B". The mother-to-be had passed her due date, and the baby seemed to be as comfortable as ever, nestled deep inside her pelvis. She reached down and rubbed her belly, massaging her child within its watery home. |
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"Oh baby... we would really like to meet you soon," the mother murmured. "I would love to gaze into your eyes and hold you close. I want to see your face, content with a full belly of milk. I want to introduce you to this big world outside." The baby kicked in response, and rolled over.
The mother-to-be went about her day, picking up groceries at the store, reading email, and planning the next day's activities. She suddenly felt a craving for fried chicken, mashed potatoes and peas for dinner. It sounded so good that she announced to the family that she was scrapping the plans they had made and that now their dinner would be this new idea that had popped into her head. As evening came on, she and her oldest daughter began preparing the dinner she so craved. As the chicken was browning, the mother-to-be felt a small squeeze deep in her pelvis that worked its way up, hugging her baby tight. "Hmmmm..." she wondered, as she began boiling water for the potatoes.
As she and her daughter finished making dinner, the squeezes became stronger and a little closer together. As the family sat down to their meal, she phoned her midwife and gave her the news. "I'm just sitting down to dinner now," she said. "I'll call you back if this continues."
The family enjoyed their dinner as the mother-to-be ate between the building contractions. After dinner, everyone settled into their normal evening activities as the mother sat in her rocking chair, easing into the increasing sensations of labor.
Later that night, she called the midwife back to tell her that she would be needed tonight, then she settled back into her early labor routine, trusting that her labor would progress.
When the midwife arrived, the mother-to-be got up to help prepare the bed for the birth. Once everything was all set up, she rested there, while everyone else went back to the living room to watch a movie. The contractions became sporadic... which caused the mother-to-be to worry that this might not be the night her baby was born after all. She moved out to the living room with everyone else and went back to her rocking chair. Once there, the contractions picked back up, increasing in frequency and intensity as she rocked. Perhaps the baby wanted to be out there in the midst of the rest of its family, not sequestered away in the back room!
Finally, as the other children nodded off, everyone decided to try and get a little sleep. The contractions continued at a steady pace, but it seemed like it wouldn't result in the birth they were all hoping for until at least early morning. While her husband played the perfect host and set up a bed for the patient midwife and toted the sleeping children off to their beds, the mother-to-be continued to labor, hoping for the chance to catch a little sleep before her baby made its appearance.
They all got in their beds and settled in to sleep. Surprisingly, the mother-to-be was soon in dreamland, dreaming of the impending birth and of holding her newborn babe.
A few hours later, she awoke to a much stronger sensation. She lay there, breathing softly through the increasingly strong contractions and watching the clock. Three minutes apart. Yes. This was going to be her baby's birthday. She lay there as long as she could bear it, then got up to go to the bathroom. Upright, the contractions were even stronger. After a few contractions, she went to the living room to awaken her midwife.
Her midwife was already awake, in tune with the energy of labor. She got out of her bed as the mother-to-be bounced lightly on her birthball between contractions, rolling about on it during them. The contractions were more intense, and the mother-to-be began to give in to them, releasing the energy created from the contraction in a deep, throaty moan. This sound brought her husband to the living room immediately, as he recognized the sounds of active labor. The mother-to-be did as her body told her to do in order to ease the birthing of her baby. She trusted the process that her body was relaying to her.
While her husband and her midwife set up all the supplies in the living room (the children were still asleep), the mother-to-be got up and leaned against the wall during her contractions. It felt better, and the contractions continued to intensify. During a brief trip to the bathroom, her waters burst.
The contractions came more swiftly now as the baby moved down. The mother-to-be didn't feel comfortable by the wall anymore, so she leaned on the sofa. The other girls in the family awoke and came out to witness the birth of the new baby. The mother-to-be felt the baby move down into the birth canal and felt the first urges to push.
She had determined to birth this baby gently, so besides the occasional push, she panted through most of the contractions, letting the baby and the uterus work to finish the birth. With the help of her husband, the mother-to-be turned about and leaned back against the front of the sofa. The baby was beginning to crown. Tentatively, the mother-to-be put her hand down to support the baby's entry into the world.
All was quiet except for the sounds of birth and the occasional whispered word of encouragement from the midwife and the father, who was as eager to meet this new little family member as his wife.
The baby's head was born, and the shoulders rotated to come through and be born. One more contraction and the new little girl was in her mother's arms. All her sisters were gathered around to greet her as her mother and father gazed into her eyes.
Births like this can and do happen every day. They happen at home where the mother is the least disturbed and is allowed to flow with her labor. She is not interrupted by IVs, electronic fetal monitors, vaginal exams and strangers. She labors in her own environment and is able to do what her body tells her. This is organic birth. Mothers who labor like this trust the process to work. They trust birth.
I hear stories like this all the time from mothers. And that story you just read here? That is how the birth of my youngest daughter occurred. She was ten pounds even. Too big by most hospital standards. They would have pushed for a cesarean. They would not have trusted that my body could birth her even though I had vaginally birthed a baby larger than ten pounds. But this story and the thousands like it prove that our bodies are designed to give birth. If they weren't, how would we have ever survived long enough to develop the medical profession who now feel the need to "rescue" us all from birth?
Don't get me wrong. I don't hate doctors. There are times when they truly are needed and a true blessing to have around. I was very grateful to the doctors who saved my husband's life by installing a new heart valve when his was failing. I was very grateful for the doctors who helped my second oldest daughter when she suffered from seizures when she was small. But were they necessary at my healthy births? No. Now, if I had a feeling something was wrong during pregnancy, or if labor was beginning and I began to bleed badly, I'd be the first to rush to the hospital with a suspected placenta previa (when the placenta grows over the cervix)and be knocking on the doors of the OR for my cesarean. But with a healthy mother, a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy, the odds are definitely in our favor of having a safe, organic birth.
There is a whole movement based on trusting birth. You can find out more about it by following the links I will provide below.
The Trust Birth Conference 2010
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